


electric bluebells

by sunflower_8



Series: saimota week 2020!! [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Anxiety, Complicated Relationships, Derealization, Dissociation, Kinda, M/M, Storms, Suicidal Thoughts, ambiguous - Freeform, idk anymore, minor mention of car accident, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:13:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24275668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflower_8/pseuds/sunflower_8
Summary: he remembers learning about lightning, how white lightning is the coolest, followed by yellow, orange, and purple. purple lightning is powerful, the faintness of lavender so deceiving because it could kill someone in a single strike.the lightning is white today. he doesn’t think much past it.(or, he sits beside his best friend and tries to resolve his uncertainty)
Relationships: Momota Kaito & Saihara Shuichi, Momota Kaito/Saihara Shuichi
Series: saimota week 2020!! [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1751038
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	electric bluebells

their legs are hanging over the edge, fingers loosely linked. the sky is shattered, despondent and dismal, coloured a muddled grey. every once in a while, a crackling noise (just a little louder than the snapping of the fireplace in his uncle’s house) distracts them from the sight of a single streak of light tearing the horizon in half. they count the seconds between each ear-splitting noise, disregarding the aftershocks to make sure they’re safe.

as safe as they can be  _ here _ . 

(he remembers learning about lightning, how white lightning is the coolest, followed by yellow, orange, and purple. purple lightning is powerful, the faintness of lavender so  _ deceiving  _ because it could kill someone in a single strike.

the lightning is white today. he doesn’t think much past it.)

“hm,” he hears, and he turns to look at his friend. kaito is sitting there, as is he, and his face is… thoughtful. contemplative. it’s understandable, really, because neither of them know why they’re here. why he was here and why kaito joined him. he breaks the silence again, wincing at the storm, and says, “i got into a car accident cuz the weather was this bad.”

there’s little to say to that, so he just says, “ah.”

“thunder is cool, i guess. i’m more into the atmosphere, though! what’s beyond here. because, after all, i am kaito momota, luminary of the stars!” his eyes light up for a second, and it’s fucking  _ beautiful,  _ but soon it’s gone and they’re just staring again. the warmth in his eyes is cooled, and it reminds him of a supernova star expanding, expanding, expanding,

and just becoming nothing.

he kind of feels like nothing, honestly, but he doesn’t want to tell the other that. he feels like this a lot. kind of distant, away from himself and his thoughts and unable to do anything to keep himself present. he wants to be here, but he doesn’t want to be  _ here _ , because he- 

“why are we here?” he asks, feeling kaito shift beside him. “neither of us want to… y’know. you’re just here because i’m here and i don’t know why i’m… we’re just waiting. and what are we waiting for?”

“i dunno, sidekick,” he replies. they watch more lightning, a spectacle for the past-tense-dead. “i dunno.”

“at least,” he continues, “i don’t think either of us want to. i can’t speak for you, but i-” is that even true? does he really not want to… he isn’t certain. he can’t be certain of anything anymore.

kaito sighs, “i’m here to keep you company.”

“why?” he asks for the first time after  _ wanting _ to ask over ten times.

“seemed like the right thing to do.”

he isn’t so sure that was the question he was asking. but he doesn’t say a word. 

he starts counting again when he hears the next wave of thunder. he decides on it being 12 miles away, but he isn’t certain. he might count again. but then what comes after? he keeps counting and counting and counting for the thunder to come, but to no avail, because when it starts coming, what’s the point in counting? seconds aren’t fluid. they come and go and counting them doesn’t change a thing so  _ why is he here?  _ what is he counting on?

“shu,” he hears, an arm wrapped around his waist. “maybe we should head back.”

“ah, i-” he cuts himself off, bites his lip. “okay.” he doesn’t make any movements.

kaito doesn’t stand up either. “if you want to stay longer, we can. i just worry a bit, shu. you know that.”

“i worry too,” he says, but it isn’t  _ him  _ that says it. it just carries through the air, not nearly as destructive as everything occurring with the storm but still present, still scary. his lips part as he breathes again, the air slightly visible not because of cold but the liminal place he’s in physically and mentally. “i think that’s why we’re here.” and he’s certain that’s the reason, but it’s a bit harder to say that. to talk in definitives.

“mm. makes sense,” is all kaito says, and it’s so  _ little  _ that it’s a bit agitating. he’s agitated, but not like the wind or the thunder or the lightning, in a more subtle sense, where things aren’t making sense to him. he doesn’t know if he’s real. he doesn’t know if kaito- “s’okay, shu. i promise.”

he thinks about flowers for a moment. it’s a dumb thought. he just misses the scent of them on the dining table in his uncle’s house that will never quite be  _ his house,  _ and he wonders if he should have started counting when his parents left. he wonders what number he would be on, now. something that leaves shuichi infinitesimal, imaginably. it’s kind of worrying.

he wants to smell the flowers again.

but he doesn’t want to move.

and so he waits there until the storm breaks, and kaito stays at his side. and when he leaves, he still isn’t sure why he was there in the first place, but he feels like it was something. something scary or worrying or loud. he can’t really feel it, he’s distant, but  _ why why why _ ?

he isn’t certain. 

**Author's Note:**

> flowers // thunder
> 
> so i. really liked this prompt but i. didn't know what to do today. so i just kinda wrote a vent fic? it's really ambiguous and confusing and honestly idk what the fuck it really means but. it's here. um. hh. i hope you like it. even though the characterization is pretty bad.


End file.
